What a laugh! Have you ever heard some of the side splitting things fans shout out from the crowd?

Things like these!


A disgruntled England fan watching a game against Norway and annoyed that  all the action was down the other end of the pitch was heard shouting. “Kick the ball down this end, we paid to get in as well you know!”


When Newcastle United first got their floodlights in 1953 they played a friendly against Celtic. At the time their star striker Jackie Milburn had been out with an ear injury. The fans were discussing whether or not he would be playing. They were all delighted when his name was announced on the team sheet and he came on. During the game a pass came in and Jackie jumped up to head it. Misjudging the flight of the ball it struck him on the side of the head and right on his sore ear! Jackie fell to the ground clutching his ear, writhing around in agony. After a while of him being down on the ground one fan shouted out. “Come on man Jackie, get up! You don’t play football with yer lugs you know!”


Our aim is to compile a book with some of the best quips, one liners,  ‘funny shout outs’, outbursts or wisecracks made by fans and heard by fans during ‘the match’ over the years.

If you have ended up laughing out loud or heard a funny story about something someone shouted out during a match then please either email us it at:


Or: Complete the contact form below.

Or: Ring 07379 148766 and leave your story on our answerphone.

Please remember to give a little background or context to the outburst, quip or wisecrack. As in the examples given above.

Who were the teams? When was it?

Plus any backstory to give readers a context. If you tell us your name and who you support we will note this underneath if it is included in the book.

If it makes us laugh there is a very good chance your ‘story’ will be included in the book.

Hopefully we will get enough great ‘stories’ that are clean enough to publish. All the others might end up in a blue book!

If you are successful, we will contact you when the book has been compiled and is available.


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